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Reposting this because I can’t put it better than this

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2021.10.27 07:02 Yousavedmejustknow Reposting this because I can’t put it better than this

From u/3069throwaway

Some Thoughts From Someone With Similar Experiences
Sabrina's experiences sucked and her personal feelings are valid. With that obvious statement being said, it seems like almost everybody is taking her story to the most extreme conclusions about how they personally should feel about Gus. It seems like most participating in this conversation don't have enough relationship or life experience to know the difference between a shitty relationship experience and abuse. It also sounds like many of you have never been through traumatic surgical experiences either. I'm a similar age and have been in similar medical situations as Sabrina and I've also been in a relationship through them. I might be able to shed some light on what Gus's perspective would be and why it is silly for you to completely turn against him over this.
If you look at every choice Gus made in the story, the reasons are fairly obviously not with ill intent. When she was going to the doctor being misdiagnosed, it makes sense for Gus to trust a medical expert's opinion and want to verify. It is totally normal for people to trust an expert's opinions over a loved ones' for better or worse. I personally think one of the biggest things to ding him for is not going with her immediately when she went to the operating room alone. But he DID get there by the time she was diagnosed and before she went under the knife. Gus wanting her to keep her word to wanting an abortion if she got pregnant is also completely normal. Responsible couples discuss what they will do ahead of time if an accident happens. Gus potentially resenting or wanting to break up with her for keeping the pregnancy is a completely reasonable reaction to an unwanted pregnancy in a relationship with boundaries previously set. It sucks for her that she might have wanted to go through with her pregnancy but Gus did not do anything wrong there either.
It is really hard to support someone through demanding surgeries. Of course actually going through the surgeries is way more intense. She went through 12 follow-up appointments in one month with him there trying to support her through it. I'm someone similarly in a long-term relationship at a similar age who has undergone similar life-threatening surgeries also similarly with my reproductive tract. For context, I had 6 that were much more spread out over years compared to her one especially strenuous single month. Mine also did not have a pregnancy involved but I had spent nearly 2 years recovering over the course of a 5 year relationship, so I know about medical burnout. I know it is very difficult for partners to communicate through these kinds of times and getting through it is tough when you are young. My surgeries similarly put a lot of strain on my partner. I had to become much more demanding of her time and I needed more help with day-to-day living. Her life was especially impacted in that I was limited for many blocks of months with how physical I could get and that certainly also caused resentment. We were young and were used to our relationship being only fun and so dealing with adult situations was tough. We talked it through, understood each other, and grew. Dealing with a long healing can also especially be challenging because it feels like it never ends. Him resisting going to the hospital every time she had a scare for the following months once it was established that she was relatively stable by experts is a reasonable response for him although it certainly would not comfort her. She even said she did not blame him for that. When he was talking about how hard it is to support her medically and how she was lucky that he stuck around, I will certainly call him out for that as being a dick thing to say. Even if it's true that people leave relationships when one person has medical issues, it's not cool saying something like that to someone who clearly needs emotional support.
I've also seen some criticism that he was not immediately responsive to her while he was in the middle of a live-stream. He was in the middle of working and she was not experiencing an emergency. She just wanted to be comforted to go to sleep and the timing was bad. That seems like a silly thing to hold against him. It also seems a little hypocritical that she and others would criticize him for inappropriately prioritizing his job in his life when she monetized this story in the wake of a breakup with her youtube famous ex containing personal details she has not even shared with her family yet.
This was obviously a very intense experience for Sabrina and she did not get the support she obviously needed from her network. Almost dying sucks. Questioning a pregnancy sucks. Testing relationships sucks. The point I am trying to make is that people also forget that it can be hard to give an appropriate amount of support when it is needed as a partner in a situation like this. People can be mean and make mistakes in times of stress. Gus is human even if he is e-famous. I'm sure I made a mistake or two with the details so sorry about that. I think my point still stands that this subreddit is totally over reacting.
Edit: 12 appointments, not surgeries
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As always, beware of early or delayed maintenance.
This maintenance is scheduled to last 8 hours and started 4 hours before usual daily reset. Be sure to empty all arena orbs and NRG, and keep an eye on your Rank EXP and Expeditions to maximize your resources.
Maintenance by TimeZone See your own timezone -->CLICK HERE
In game countdown --> Daily Quest Countdown --> maintenance start when the countdown hit 04.00.00
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