2021.10.27 06:29 shiny_happy_persons I’m Functionally Immortal Thanks to Temporal Shuffling, Part 2
First, I’d like to say the mods can fuck right off. I had to intentionally lose a day in order to post a follow-up. An entire day! You have no idea how valuable a day is. It’s worth more than every precious gem, every last scrap of currency pooled together. Bill Gates and Elon Musk and Carlos Slim are wealthy, but not one of those broke dicks can relive a day. None of them can reshuffle the deck and get as many chances as they want to get the day just right, nor would they have the balls to effectively turn back time by dying before the day ends so that it can reset.
Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. I found a therapist who is at least willing to placate me as I try to find a way to communicate my struggle to someone who would understand what I go through. If ignorance is bliss, then I wish I had never died the first time.
It turns out I actually lost two days (double-trouble, naughty naughty). I intentionally lost one day to be able to post a follow-up message, but I ended up losing two. Here’s the thing, I haven’t lived a new day in a very long time. I’m talking years, maybe even decades. I know I kept calling it the perfect day, but the only thing perfect about it was how comfortable I grew with the repetition of the day, the two hours of private time, then my trip to the diner for the perfect sandwich, and finally my stroll to the railroad tracks for the train to kill me and reset the day. Well, go ahead and laugh, but I made it to the diner yesterday and they didn’t have the sandwich. The sandwich wasn’t there because it’s the special of the day for yesterday. Yesterday may as well be a fucking lifetime ago. A day I can never get back, the one thing that I need to hold close for any hope of keeping my sanity as I live for thousands of years longer than anyone else. Presumably, there are others with my curse, but we may never know about each other. How would we? That’s part of why I reached out in the first place, to see who could understand my suffering.
Anyway, I got to the diner and the sandwich was gone. I can never get it back. I lost something precious to me because I was too greedy to get feedback from someone who heard my story and understood the burden I carry. In my haste, I lost a piece of me. I hope you’ll understand why I had a meltdown, why I ended up shrieking until my vocal cords were raw, why I pulled my gun and threatened to drag the cook out to the trainyard. Someone called the police and I was taken away to a hospital for an involuntary commitment. I was released after a day, but that makes two days that I lost. The one I intentionally let go, and now this second one that I spent in the hospital. By the way, the movies get psychiatric wards in emergency departments completely wrong. There are no straightjackets or padded cells, but there are locked doors. Also, when one is accustomed to a day that lasts about four hours, a full day is an incredibly boring punishment to spend staring at the ceiling. I was held overnight and released when I showed them I was not a danger to myself or others. If they only knew. The plus side is it did give me the idea to go into therapy. Getting actual help out there is a bit challenging.
Please let me start over (pun sadly intended). Like I said, I found a therapist who will see me today, for what she thinks is our first session. Dr. Bayton says it’s important for me to keep my anger in check, that people don’t understand what I’m trying to tell them, and that they can’t be held responsible for the conversations I’ve had with them a hundred times, or ten thousand times. Sometimes we reach this point in our first session early on, generally before I pull out the zip ties or break the window on her tenth floor office. Sometimes she tries to scream on the way down, sometimes I jump out by myself, sometimes we go out together - out the window, that is. She never remembers. It’s always our first session, but she’s willing to placate me, or so she thinks.
Let me go over the basics, as I often do with Dr. Bayton. I call it temporal shuffling. When I was a kid, I used to play a solitaire game on the family computer. There is a version of the game in which you have to win on a single deal of the deck. If you can’t beat the game in one shot, if you run out of cards, then the game is over and you lose. But there’s a catch! You can reshuffle the deck before it runs out, and get another chance to play the game from a fresh deck. That’s how time works for me. Today is Wednesday for you. Tomorrow is Thursday for you, or so you think. Today is Wednesday for me. Tomorrow is also Wednesday for me, provided I die before the day runs out. If I keep the streak going, seven years from now is Wednesday, October 27, 2021. Seventeen years from now, still October 27, 2021. Seven hundred years from now, believe it or not, still October 27, 2021. It’s that simple. I’m functionally immortal because I choose to reset the day. If I don’t die today, then Thursday finally comes. One day has passed for you. More than one has passed for me.
I’ve been going to therapy just about daily for almost six months, only it’s not like six real months because it’s always my first session with Dr. Bayton. She tries to hear what I’m telling her, but it’s difficult for her to provide therapy for my temporal shuffling. She just doesn’t understand it, and I’ve tried a few dozen ways to explain it. Mostly I stick to treatment for my anger, it’s easier for her to understand and address that. I lie to her and tell her the progress I’ve made with other therapists, but the truth is she’s the only therapist I’ve ever seen, and I have seen her around 150 times. Luckily, she always agrees with the therapeutic approaches “the other therapists” recommended. I guess it shows she has confidence in herself. That’s encouraging.
I try to learn and grow, I think it’s my responsibility as an immortal being. I have been given the gift of legends. Ponce de Leon and Dorian Gray have nothing on me, so I am determined to use it well. For example, I’ve used the last six months to get over my fear of heights. Since I have to miss the train for my therapy session, I end the session (and reset the day) by jumping out of Dr. Bayton’s window. Her office is on the 10th floor, so when I hit the ground, I die almost instantly, although there have been some funny variations. Once, I hit the flagpole on the side of the building on the way down. Another time, I landed right on top of a homeless guy who was begging for change. He got some big change that day. Anyway, after more than a hundred jumps, I’m now used to it, and I sometimes try to crack a joke to the doc on the way down if she’s coming with me, or I try to make a funny quip before I toss her out. She usually goes first when our session is less helpful. Sometimes I go out alone when I feel like I’ve made a breakthrough, though I may announce a new breakthrough (inside joke) as I smash the window and make my leap. If ya gotta go, go in style.
One thing I haven’t considered is whether my timeline resets for the entire universe, or just for me. In other words, does each death create an alternate timeline in which everyone else continues on without me? Dr. Bayton suggested that when I was sharing my fears about the multiverse, but she phrased it with concern for those I kill or ruin as part of my day. She didn’t take the Nestea plunge that day. It really gave me pause.
Don’t get me wrong, I still kill people, I just feel a twang of guilt from time to time. At least until I see them again on another today and I remember why I kill them in the first place. Some people don’t deserve another day, even if their timeline continues without me.
Dr. Bayton once accused me of being solipsistic. She went out the window for that comment, but I didn’t follow right away. I had to look up the meaning of the word. She might be right, but I wanted to prove her wrong, so I spent a few weeks working her gently for personal information during our first therapy session. It’s harder than it sounds. She doesn’t know she’s been asked a variation of what her maiden name is a dozen times, and when I do get a new nugget of information, I have to find a way to bring it up again on our next first session without crossing over into that uncanny valley. The next first time she used that word on me, I crushed her with information about herself, then I advised her that she is known and verified. We went out the window together that day. I called it a draw.
She’s also suggested that my beliefs stem from a god complex. She can’t envision my temporal shuffle as anything more than a delusion, but I don’t take offense. A limited, linear mind just can’t appreciate my ability to relive the same experience over and over in the hope of finding some greater meaning in the subtle variations that occasionally occur. If the day repeats endlessly for me, and I do the same actions leading up to a particular event, such as the presentation of the sandwich at the diner, shouldn’t the sandwich always be identical? But it’s not! Sometimes there are small variations in the spread of the cream cheese, or the degree to which the egg is cooked. Those small changes hint at something much bigger behind the temporal shuffling. I think the key to unlocking it lies in finding another being like me.
I don’t have a god complex. That’s someone who is drunk on perceived power. I am a god, and my power is plain to see. Imagine an enemy you can never prepare for, one who has the patience to try your defenses over and over again, one who never tires, never quits, one who has grown strong carrying the burden of fury born from the inequity of his life. A life that cannot be extinguished, a life from which no joy other than primal sensation can be derived. I almost feel sorry for the next hapless douche that crosses my path. I’ll make sure he crosses it every today until I tire of grinding his bones to make my bread. Perhaps, in time, I will learn some truth of the riddle of life tucked away in the slight differences in the blood splatter pattern that lands when my pipe wrench meets his mouth.
It is my hope that another god will find me through the hidden entropy of the world, that somehow they will discover this post on their perfect day and reach out to me for companionship. There is no escape for me, no way to seek help but to cry out into the void. Like Lydia Deetz before me, I am utterly alone. Or so I think.
submitted by shiny_happy_persons to nosleep [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 Tomami7 How does someone already have the namecard 😱!! It looks rly good!
|submitted by Tomami7 to TearsOfThemis [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 BoardGamesNews Sick Rift, Bro -[SPACE-BIFF!]- (R)
|submitted by BoardGamesNews to BoardGamesNews [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 dysonmouse My mouse collection
How about my collection?
submitted by dysonmouse to MouseReview [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 G-Money24 Hopefully the resolution doesn’t get massacred by Reddit. But I love capturing pics of our red eyed tree frogs
|submitted by G-Money24 to frogs [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 ohcherlay Members suggestion
Anyone else think it would be a good idea to have H3TV and after dark available afterwards for us ad free? I like to listen to fall asleep for background noise but have to keep skipping ads.
submitted by ohcherlay to h3h3productions [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 LegArmpit Help with villager trading hall
Where should I put my beds in villager trading hall so that they can’t sleep in them and escape. I’ve tried putting them in the ceiling and under the floor but they don’t accept the beds
submitted by LegArmpit to Minecraft [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 IrelandonRedditBot [r/northernireland] “I heard a senior British minister openly & offensively, in front of a US audience, dismiss the impact of a “No Deal” #Brexit on Irish businesses as just affecting “a few farmers with turnips in the back of their trucks.”
|submitted by IrelandonRedditBot to IrelandonReddit [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 Ellia_Bot Monster Family Discussion: Penguin Knight
Welcome to the /summonerswar monster family spotlight, featuring the Penguin Knights!
The previous discussion on this family can be found here and was held on 2018-2-2.You can find all previous monster discussions linked at the bottom of this wiki page.
Element Water Fire Wind Light Dark Icon Toma Naki Mav Dona Kuna Swarfarm link Toma Naki Mav Dona Kuna Star level ★★★ ★★★ ★★★ ★★★ ★★★ Type Attack HP HP Support HP Base HP 8895 11700 10215 9720 10050 Base ATK 703 560 637 615 626 Base DEF 516 472 494 549 516 Base SPD 105 105 105 105 105 Awakening bonus Gain new skill: Crush Iceberg Gain new skill: Request Battle Gain new skill: Wings of Wind Gain new skill: Ready to Attack Gain new skill: Undefeated Warrior Leaderskill 30% HP (Water Element) 30% HP (Fire Element) 30% HP (Wind Element) 30% HP (Light Element) 30% HP (Dark Element) Skillups needed 13 13 11 11 13
submitted by Ellia_Bot to summonerswar [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 Mobile-Soft-7150 What’s the easiest way to get to a Doctorate of Medicine??
Yo, this is my first time posting here.
I want to go to UNSW cause I heard a lot of good things about this uni, that’s besides the point but anyways…
In year 12 right now, applying for a Bachelors of Medical Science to get a pathway into a Doctorate of Medicine. This is a good idea or is there a better way to get to the doctorate of medicine? I don’t think I’ll get a ridiculously high ATAR (expecting around an 83).
Thanks in advance for the suggestions.
submitted by Mobile-Soft-7150 to unsw [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 mayankNiT Raptor skull and brain drawing
|submitted by mayankNiT to drawing [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 FoxShaving The handyman at work had his drill bit snap and the drill went right into his wrist making blood pour everywhere
|submitted by FoxShaving to Wellthatsucks [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 ptxwux_AE Doctor`s Curse 4Kill
|submitted by ptxwux_AE to Rainbow6 [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 Alianes23x MoM theory
2021.10.27 06:29 Car-Marketer3244 Partner with the best. Visit the website for your favorites.
|submitted by Car-Marketer3244 to Gamingcirclejerk [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 huskmesilly Leaves curling upwards?
|submitted by huskmesilly to Tradescantia [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 Kunstkurator 12th century Minaret of Jam in Afghanistan (1067x1600)
|submitted by Kunstkurator to ArtefactPorn [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 hakimzd Emergency
2021.10.27 06:29 user23545435 Reccuring pattern, or motivated perception?
|submitted by user23545435 to CryptoCurrency [link] [comments]|
2021.10.27 06:29 Uccioexe Searching to go into max liar adventures of Pokémon shield
Hi, Just discovered that some legendaries are exclusive of shield/sword (i got sword). In order to catch these Mons i would have to go online and hopefully find someone that Is doing them, so could anyone help me with them? Missing Lugia, yveltal, lunala, latias, Zekrom. I could also trade events (new Shiny doggos, Pokémon go Mew, shinies) for this, please let me know
submitted by Uccioexe to pokemon [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 equpi_21p Darkrai on me 4280 8399 4621
2021.10.27 06:29 abitrolly Can't find screenplay of the latest Dune (2021) to read. Why is it so secret?
2021.10.27 06:29 Sueann_Mosses Want to Treat More Fee-for-Service Patients?
As a dentist, you already understand that treating fee-for-service patients are better.
So, can you stop seeing new in-network patients while being a PPO practice?
In this episode, you will get to know the answer!
submitted by Sueann_Mosses to profitable_practice [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 Lifemgul Switching PPI/ tapering
I started PPI last year and have been on them for close to 12 months.
Had I known that this stuff would give me such serious globus, throat pain and reflux I would’ve never touched it! I started with pain in my left side caused by gastritis, that’s it! I never had any other symptoms.
I’m now feeling really stuck and want to taper off them. I’ve tried tapering before but couldn’t handle it after 7 days.
Has anyone ever swapped/ changed PPI and then tapered off the ones you swapped to?
Any tips and advice would be really appreciated.
I’m on Pantaprazole 80mg(40 AM + 40PM)
Thanks in advance.
submitted by Lifemgul to GERD [link] [comments]
2021.10.27 06:29 NeverRisen God