2021.09.18 11:35 rokugo0512 遜出新高度www
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2021.09.18 11:35 Binary_ink Desperately need advice - thinking of leaving home. Is a degree worth it?
Hey there, sorry if this post is disjointed or filled with errors. I'm sorry if this is long but please I really need advice. tw// small non-graphic mentions of self harm, suicide
I'm in a toxic family system with an incredibly volatile and narcissistic mother. I've nearly killed myself twice in the last year - nothing happened, but it happened so quickly that if I did do it successfully I'd probably be dead.
I just turned 20 (F) and I had just applied for a transfer to a uni overseas. I got accepted but my mother won't let me go to in-person classes. She made me apply to an alternative online course instead that would mean I have to stay under the same roof with her for another year. She keeps saying I'm "not ready enough for uni" (despite me already having been in uni for a year) and made me email the university saying how I am unable to be vaccinated and therefore shouldn't be travelling. This is false, they took me to get vaccinated days after sending that email. Regardless, the application to the online course succeeded, so now I have no way of going to uni this year.
I've been thinking about leaving the family for years. Things have gotten worse and now I don't know if I can stay another year or more under the same roof with them. I've been planning and right now I do have a generally solid plan that would allow me to leave in a few months.
Most of my friends have been telling me I need to leave, too.
However, if I leave, I will be throwing a lifetime of financial security away. My family is well-connected and wealthy - they managed to get my brother, who is on the spectrum, a very well paying job through one of my father's friends. If I stay I know I will get a good, if not better, future than that. They are very generous with their wealth with me, which is another way they keep me under their belt: I don't ever have my own bank account yet.
Furthermore there's always a mental struggle of "is it really that bad?" My family situation always goes in cycles: severe lovebombing and "everything is good" mindset, and then complete and utter hell that leaves me dissociating and having breakdowns for weeks. Right now it is in a "good" stage so I'm once again struggling with the idea of leaving all this comfort behind.
If i leave, I won't be able to get a degree for a while (I would like to go back to college as a mature student) and therefore I know I will be struggling financially as I won't be legally allowed to work for a few months at least. The idea of not having a degree honestly scares the hell out of me, I've always been told I need one to get places.
But my emotional and mental state is in constant turmoil everyday when I'm with my family, always on edge and worrying about when the "good times" will end. I cry myself to sleep many nights and am in constant pain.
I also used to think that going to uni would finally mean an end to all this. However when I went to my first year of uni I quickly realised that wasn't the case - in fact, it became worse. My mum required that I call her everyday at least twice and send photos of what I was doing every other hour or else it meant I didn't "love them enough". She would scream at me over the phone and send long, attacking texts through the day. My mental health got so bad I stayed in bed for weeks on end, my grades plummeted, and my self harm got really severe.
Please - I don't know what to do. Do I stay and suffer for another minimum of five years but retain financial/living stability? Or do I leave and go into the unknown with no clear idea of what my future is like?
Please, I really really need advice on this, I keep crying whenever I think about what I should do.
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2021.09.18 11:35 mlg_sloth New Lego Spider-Man set for No Way Home
2021.09.18 11:35 rashford_goat Idk if dis is true
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2021.09.18 11:35 aza9999 I wish that everyone who participates in the Tik Tok bathroom vandalism trend loses all control over their bowels and bladders for a year
2021.09.18 11:35 sexmasternumba3 Oh... Yea... *puts his raycon E23 earbuds back on playing 100gecs hand crushed by a mallet then pulls his pink boy skirt back up*
2021.09.18 11:35 Raihan8890 Anveshi Jain bigg boobies 🤤🥵
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2021.09.18 11:35 ResearcherEither6601 Cuddle survey
Just a survey lang to those with experienced na in fwb/fubu setup Does cuddle would really make you get attached to the person? Or still depends?
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2021.09.18 11:35 mind_uncapped What she's upto??? :/
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2021.09.18 11:35 el3rod عروض جراند هايبر الراي الكويت 18-9-202 #عروض_جراند_هايبر_الكويت #العروض #el3rod #تخفيضات #خصومات #تسوق #عروض #تخفيض #خصم #عرض #اخر_عروض_الكويت #الكويت #عروض_الكويت
2021.09.18 11:35 Motor_Cantaloupe2367 Caption This
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2021.09.18 11:35 DrJobless Its Time to God Bridge!!!?!
2021.09.18 11:35 toriblackaddict Ashlynn Brooke
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2021.09.18 11:35 20captainx12 [IDENTIFY] Saw this outside a school and didn't have time to take a picture so I tattooed it onto myself. Anyone mind telling me what flag this is?
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2021.09.18 11:35 UnidetifiedFlyinUser Stadia not working with iOS 15 release candidate
Can anybody get Stadia to work on iOS 15? It just goes straight to the survey for me when I try to launch a game. I already tried toggling the GPU Process: Media setting but it doesn’t make a difference.
I know that iOS 15 is not officially released yet, but in two days it will be, and it would suck for all iOS users to lose Stadia…
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2021.09.18 11:35 Assassian_Hiren Cayo
2021.09.18 11:35 elflodfgdfgdfgdfg The girls, all girls
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2021.09.18 11:35 AsleepEntertainer343 First time making Best Squad! Was super proud so I wanted to show yall
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2021.09.18 11:35 17-rob-nbma From scenic Quechee
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2021.09.18 11:35 Towlio This Generous Person just gave me these for free! I guess I can give Adopt Me a second chance
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2021.09.18 11:35 Ryubix Canada Soccer Discord Server
Is there a Discord server for Canadian Soccer?
I'm a French following the CPL's development with great interest and I would love to talk with canadians about it. :)
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2021.09.18 11:35 PetroleumJelly82 Question about QQI
I want to do a Comp TIA +A course as part of jobs scheme but it has to be QQI certified. I've looked but can't find whether it is or not. Does anyone here know?
The specific course is sponsored by Solas, if that means anything.
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2021.09.18 11:35 svanapps r/binance - I accidently sent 45 eth to my binance account via arbitrum network and its gone until if binance decides to enable deposits from it.I am really stressed. I would be forever in gratitude if Binance is able to assist 😭
2021.09.18 11:35 Dtrinnie 🍰Pumpcake🍰 Stealth Launch 🍰Listed On PancakeSwap 🍰 Liquidity locked
Welcome to 🍰Pumpcake🍰
🍰Pumpcake🍰 Stealth Launch 🍰Listed On PancakeSwap 🍰 Liquidity locked
2021.09.18 11:35 Zaah_ Anyone tried injections for the muscle spasm and what kind of injections also I got Costochontriditis too